It's been awhile.  I guess today is really going to be random.

42 years ago today our mother died.  She was 43.  My father died three years earlier at 41.  So at 21, 16, 13, 12 and 10, we became orphans.  To this day we all miss our parents.



You all know I'm a Springsteen fan.  There's a new album coming out in a couple of weeks and on the station I listen to, they've been playing one song a day, and then having a call-in show to discuss it.  The music is hard and tough and sometimes it's hard to listen to.  Today the song was about depression.  How you can be depressed, and how the economy is depressed.  The words weren't very clear when I listened, but the feeling came through loud and clear.  I felt that this song could touch so many people, even me, who was feeling the loss of our mother on a day like this.
 

That day was a very low point in my life, even though I was a newly wed with a small child.  I had to start over that day, trying to parent my siblings, take care of my husband and baby, and figure out who I was with all that was happening around me.  When my brothers and sisters were all moved out to their new homes, I felt a loss that was unspeakable.  Another change.  Another beginning.  And it was one that I looked forward to because it would be the first time my husband, child and I would be alone as a family.

 But I still felt that loss.  I feel that loss today.  There are so many what if's.  What if we had been able to keep the family together?  What if my next oldest brother hadn't been so angry that he carried that anger into his adult life.  What if my younger brother hadn't gone away for a year to a place where he was so unhappy?  What if my sisters had been able to stay with me and I could've taught them what Mom taught me?  I could never BE a parent to them but I could've passed some of that knowledge to them.  Teaching them things was done on weekends and long visits.  But it's not the same as being with them every day, showing them the path to adulthood.

What if.  April is coming, and along with it will be another whole set of what if's.

Whew.

I say that because I'm done.  I'm tired.  But it's finished.  "It" is the tax info we need for my home business.  I tallied, added, adjusted and figured.  And it's done.  Now we can do our taxes to see how much we owe.  We nearly always owe, me having a home business and all.  We pay the social security tax.  And we take every legal deduction we can.  And we usually owe.  Oh well.  I'm done with my part now.

Whew again.  Last week I decided that I'd make up a couple of collages of my side of the family.  I did pretty well too.  I managed to find at least one picture of each person and put it all together on my wonderful Picasa program.  And because my printer is actually working, I printed out the first one.  I decided I didn't like it.

So I printed out a second one.  After I rearranged and added some pictures.  I liked it better, and then printed THAT one out.  It went into a frame.  And I love looking at my family and thinking that it would be just that much better if the picture of my parents, which is the most important one, was more recent.  It was taken shortly before my father died in 1967.

When I finished that one, I did one of just the great grandchildren.  That was pretty easy and I did it quickly.  It's now in a frame where I can see it all the time.  I love all those beautiful kids!!

My next project is going to be a picture of my siblings.  My brother Scott, who died several years ago, never had many pictures taken so it's been hard to find a good one to add to this small collage.  I'll do it though, and it'll be in a frame about as fast as I can get it in one.

NOW...my next picture project is going to be a collage of Dave's side of the family.  It'll make a nice gift for the grandparents!!

The WEATHER and other things...

A week or so ago, one of my nephews posted the following (and I paraphrase) on Facebook:

Only old people talk about the weather.

I know that's not what he said, but I felt like that's what he meant.  And I think that he's wrong.  The way things have been this winter, young and old alike are talking about the weather.  Even those who never agreed with the prospect of global warming are changing their opinions.

Today, on the last day of January in south central Pennsylvania, we had a  high of 62.  Sure, many places around the country enjoy those temps, and even higher, at this time of the year.  But here where I live, the "normal" high temperature is 37.  I have to be honest...except for two days a few weeks ago, when it was 17 out, our weather has been WAY above normal.  I wear jackets, but there are days when I don't need one.  Like today.  I just saw on the news that something like 80% of the entire country had higher than normal temps today.  We had 4 inches of snow ten days ago.  It didn't hang around very long.

My daughter left for Africa Saturday where the daily temps run about 102.  That's double what we had here.  Her night time temps will be between 60-70.  I think I could handle that for a little while!!

The other night I bought a fajita maker.  My husband thought I was crazy, but the few times we've had them, they fell hopelessly apart and that convinced me that I needed a special little machine for them.  So tonight we had chicken pineapple fajitas.  Wow!  They tasted awesome, were easy to make and the little machine (that kind of looks like a sandwich maker) cleaned up in a snap.  I got this thing on sale and I know it'll get used often!

Last week I had migraines nearly every morning.  They don't last long but they leave me dragging for the entire day.  This week, not only are the migraines better due to a medicine change, but my back is in incredibly good shape.  My chiro doc, Mark, has done such terrific things for me.  Yesterday I stood up and realized that I had no pain in my back and hips.  (My toes hurt from walking but that's another story.)  I haven't been this pain-free in so many years.  I walked four miles on Sunday and again this morning.  I can't wait till it's warmer in the early mornings so I can actually enjoy it!

I hope that wherever you are, you're enjoying nice weather, even if it's cold.  And if you want to talk about your weather, I won't say you're old!

My Day Off...

I hardly ever have a full day for me.  To do nothing, or everything.  I often have days where I have an hour or two free here and there but rarely have a full day with absolutely nothing on my schedule except making dinner.

My plans today included reading, watching some TV, starting dinner (beef and mushrooms, yum!) and pretty much nothing else except a little Words With Friends.

My day started out pretty much as planned.  I went to Curves, and then came home, showered and got into my sweats.  Sat down in my chair, did my e-mail, checked some FB and then I remembered that there was one box in my big closet that needed sorted out.  I'd planned to do it a couple of weeks ago but I never got around to it.

In case you didn't know me then, about 10 years ago I had a closet makeover (a 20x8 space) complements of NBC.  I won the Messiest Closet in the US.  Over the years, I've added a few useful, space saving things, but for the most part, I just kept it neat and tidy.  A couple of weeks ago I noticed a container marked Craft Things.  I haven't opened that container for as long as my closet has been tidy.  So I pulled it out, bagged up all of the stuff and decided I would freecycle it.  SOMEONE out there would want some useful craft items.  I'm past that stuff now that I'm into earrings and necklaces.

And you know how it goes...you look at one box, then you have to look at another box.  And so on.  The end result, three hours later, was 14 different things to offer to Freecycle.  I also came across a few things I'd put away when we repainted our bedrooms and got them out, found my hammer and some nails, and now they're back up!

The items I'm freecycling are very nice, useful items, and within MINUTES of posting the list, all but two things were spoken for.  If you freecycle, you know that sometimes people don't show up.  I might end up having to repost some things, but right now I'm confident that all of my unwanted items are going to good homes.

AND...I have six empty containers, and every single one that's left has been sorted and labeled.  I feel like I accomplished a lot.  So here I sit, getting ready to sort recipes (don't ask) and if I'm lucky, I'll do a little reading tonight.

Tomorrow I make up for having a "free" day today by having a doctor's appointment followed by a root canal.  Yep, tomorrow's going to be a really fun day.

And the beef and mushrooms smell delicious...Words With Friends, here I come!!

My Miracle

I have experienced a miracle.

After seeing 8 doctors over the past 12 years, and going through what seems like endless PT, tests and shots, the last, and I'm told, the best one said there was nothing he could do for me.

You have to understand that this wasn't annoying pain.  It was "take your breath away" kind of pain.  I used to walk four miles a day and literally one day this pain began and took over my life.  I never took pain medication so I learned to live with it.  I learned that walking at the mall could be horrible one day, not so bad the next.  I could clean my house, but have excruciating pain when I was done.  Just pushing the sweeper could cause my back to go from annoying pain to horrible pain.  I just did what I could and kept on going.

We haven't been on a vacation for over 11 years.  Part of that is a financial issue, but another part was being afraid that I might not be able to enjoy the few days because of the constant back and leg pain.  And back spasms were (and still might be) a possibility without warning.

After I came home discouraged 10 days before Christmas my son called and suggested that I go see his friend Mark Olivetti-a young guy who's a chiropractor.  Before I went to see him we spoke on the phone and he was honest, saying he might not be able to help.  But at that point I had nothing to lose.  No other doctor could do anything.  I made an appointment to see him the Tuesday before Christmas.  We had a long talk about where I'd been and where I wanted to go.  I told him that I would love being able to start walking again.

I had some pretty rough treatments, but as I told him, I've been in so much pain, a few seconds of his adjustments were nothing.  After my second appointment, where I'd not felt much improvement, I was cleaning my house and when I finished, that horrible hip pain started.  I limped to the kitchen, wondering how I'd ever bake pies and prepare Christmas dinner for 16 people.  As I stood there, I felt something move and immediately I was pain free.

As the next two weeks went on, I saw improvement nearly every day.  Last week, on a day that was 17 degrees, we agreed that I could probably start walking again to see how it would go.  We DID decide that waiting for a warmer day would be wise, though!

And then that miracle happened.  Last Saturday, on a day that was 32 degrees, I put on layers of clothes and took a walk.  I walked 3 miles, as fast as I could, and came home elated that I had actually done something I haven't done in 12 years.  The next day I walked again, even with mild shin splints.  Yesterday I went to Curves, and then today I walked again.  I nearly followed my four mile path, but I think I'll wait a week before I start that.

I simply can't believe that most of my pain is gone.  I still have some twinges, and my lower back still bothers me, but I am getting older and some pain is to be expected.

I never knew I'd meet a miracle worker.  Now I can say I have!

2012 Has Arrived!!

A week has passed and now it's a new year.

I'm started on my Weight Watchers plan, with my daughter's help, and with any luck, I'll stick to it and get into those pants I wore only three months ago!!  I'm eating lots of fruit, drinking water and I don't feel hungry!!
I started a small online weight loss support group for some friends of mine.  It's a good place for us to chat and be supportive of one another.

Our weather has been amazing.  It's January and other than a few snow squalls and the storm back in October, we've had no snow.  It's been warm.  Today it's to be rainy and in another day or two, it's to be VERY cold.  Not really that cold for January, but we've been spoiled by this spring-like weather.  In fact, we haven't turned on the furnace yet.  We have a wood stove and have been using this on most days.  Yesterday we were away all day, the furnace wasn't on.  When we came home, the house was 64.  That's not bad.  Next week, things will change a lot when that cold weather hits us.  There's no snow in the forecast though.  Last winter I bought a pair of high, very warm, winter boots and have only worn them once.  I think it's an easy way to keep cold weather away.

Everywhere around me, people are sick.  So far, I've managed to stay well.  My husband has has two really bad colds since October and I blame it on the fact that he's around teenagers so often, and many of those kids probably have colds.  He needs to wash his hands more!!

And because he's been sick for a few days, we ended 2011 sleeping.  We spent the day at our daughter's yesterday, celebrating her birthday.  We did some shopping, her husband made dinner and we headed home by 7:30.  It was a rough night for him with the congestion.  It's a good thing we DIDN'T have big plans to bring in the new year.

I hope this finds you all happy and healthy, and looking forward to a wonderful year ahead.  The old year is gone-the new year will be the best ever!!!

Merry Christmas!

Today my blog is a link to my sister's blog.  She says it all.

Merry Christmas to my readers!!


http://14thstreetbridge.wordpress.com/2011/12/24/christine/